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29 March

When uber-terrorist Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1973 for thoughtfully carpet-bombing much of Southeast Asia back to the stone age, musical satirist Tom Lehrer famously gave up performing. 'It was at that moment that satire died,' he said. 'There was nothing more to say after that.'

He was wrong, of course. That was only the beginning. These days, neoliberalism is the best way to abolish poverty, invading Iraq the best way to reduce the threat of terrorism and giving your money to giant mega-corporations is the best way to inject life back into your ailing local community. I mention this last point because evil-global-mega-coffee monster Starbucks is currently sponsoring a series of debates across Britain - the 'Coffee House Challenge 2004' - dedicated to 'addressing some of society's most fundamental concerns.' Debates will be held in Starbucks outlets all over the country in which thoughtful latte-suppers can sit down and discuss subjects including 'zero waste', 'strong communities' and 'global citizenship.'

Yes, you did read that right. The company which uses prison labour to mass-produce its disposable cardboard cups want to have a chat with you about how to reduce waste. The company which operates a policy of 'clustering' its outlets in towns and cities, each branch competing with the others until all the local competition is driven out of business and the only cafes left on your high street are bland, centrally-planned multinational outlets dedicated to taking your money and sending it straight back to head office in Seattle, wants to talk to you about 'strong communities.' The company which militates against trade unions and squirts Monsanto-brand genetically modified milk into its crappuccinos wants to talk to you about 'global citizenship'…

I would say more but I've just fallen off my chair, and once is enough for one day. My advice? If you want strong communities, zero waste and ethical consumption, do whatever you can to get Starbucks and its fellow homogenised mega-corporate food outlets out of your town. The wonderful Reverend Billy can show you how.

Posted by paul at March 29, 2004 06:24 PM

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