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29 July

Only a few hours until we see what John Kerry's made of. I'm not sure I can watch. The word is that the man has to make the speech of his life. On the basis of the others I've seen, this doesn't seem hard, but ... well, let's just leave it there for now.

The Republicans are on alert, just in case. In the wake of that appearance the other day by Kerry's ball-breaking wife (why can't she stand instead of him? She'd eat Bush for breakfast), they've unveiled the weapon that really matters in the fattest and greediest nation on Earth: food.

Remember those freedom fries? Remember when French's Mustard released a statement assuring the all-American public that they weren't really French, it was just, ya know, a brand name? Well, now we have the next logical progression: 'W Ketchup'.

It's true! What with Kerry's wife being the heir to the Heinz food dynasty, it's become clear that no true blue GOP supporter can stomach their ketchup any longer: hence 'W' - 'America's ketchup'. Or, as the ad says, 'you don't support Democrats. Why should your ketchup?' See for yourself at wketchup.com

What could be next? Tax cuts for the rich burgers? Gay marriage constitutional amendment cookies? Pre-emptive defence cola? I can't wait for three months more of this. Oh boy.

Posted by paul at July 29, 2004 12:20 PM

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